Fear can be paralysing, I’m sure if you’re reading this you already know that.
Many times in my life I’ve been paralysed by fear, in fact right up until my 30th birthday I had shrunk from life, hidden from it and blamed the world for the life I perceived as mediocre.
Prior to turning 30 I had lost a sister at a young age, and my mother when I was 24, that on top of having a strained/non-existent relationship with my father.
This all combined led me to believe that connection and relationships were to be feared, that stepping out into the world would only end in loss or pain.
I was paralysed to the point of trying to control every aspect of my life, and yet blaming the world for my woes, for my troubles.
I had lost what it meant to connect, because every interaction was an opportunity to lessen the fear by controlling the outcome, by measuring every word I said, and every action I took.
All of this so that I could prevent hurt, prevent loss, and shield myself from what I viewed as inevitable pain.
What I failed to realise is this was far from courageous, it took immense strength, but it was entirely motivated by fear.
Then 30 rolled around and I knew something had to change, I took one of the biggest leaps of my life, fully trusting that it would work out.
I decided to travel around India, China, Southeast Asia, Australia and New Zealand, over the space of 12-18 months.
I sold everything, emptied my house until all I had left was 2 boxes (stored in my grandparents attic) and a backpack.
I realised that I needed an act of courage so great that it would shake the very core of my belief system.
This was when I truly understood that:
“people only change when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”
Ever since, this has fundamentally shifted my perspective on the world, to the point where I’ve made and taken huge risks, from beginning a life as a Digital Nomad in 2017 and living in Bali and Thailand, to moving to Valencia, Spain in 2018.
All of these things on faith that it would work out, and sometimes we need, we have to take the leap of faith, and trust that no matter what we will survive.
Now I’m not prescribing that you make such huge leaps if that’s not where you are, because courage can be built over time, through consistent action.